the older ....the darker my life

Things have changed a lot..still i remember the first day after I joined accenture when i went back home...it was realy amazing..It was like I got my life back...fresh air..happiness ...it was the same till some few months before...But situations changed..Have i grown old so fast?

NOwadays Im going home...just like that..Im not feeling the same now..Im getting irritated there..evrytime Im cursing my parents...I do love thm..but the emotions are differntly expressed...

Im feeling guilty...Im surprised...only talks about my future...not exactly future...with whom should i spare my rest of life...ofcourse I know its a big question..And I cant blame them because they didnt restrrict me in my way..I had my freedom...freedom that I didnt use..someone may say freedom that I didnt misuse...I dont know which one is more correct and sensible..

Can u imagine I learned how to be dump..means i stopped talking to my father...it continued for a month and more..it happend more than once...I dont know what exactly happend and still happening in my life..I know life is all about surprises and twists..but sometimes even difficult...crap

I feel like Im so serious..why because I lost that charm in my life..Im always in deep thoughts..lost in the middle of coversation..Im not picking my friends calls..putting constraints everywhere..Im not part of my friends ...I know..im trying..but somehow pretendence came in my life...AM i a good actress?...

The day you left

The day came..for the past two three weeks im not feeling good..I know this truth should be accepted..But ..Some coldness ..moody...gloomy days...I wanna move on....

how I managed to behave normally that day?...no one felt tht im in my worst mood.....even he didnt ..



I dont kno why I stayed back...but i ddnt talk much..I can controll my emotion..one of my strength as well I hate that strength..I wanna explode myself.....



I knew that he will accompany me till my flat...But I said not necesary eventhough I know the answer..nd I loved that walk...eventhough I have a lot to tell him ...we talked some nonsense....I wished he could understand me.....I wished the road should not end thr...I know tomorrow we wll not see.....only hope is sometime somwhere we can meet..we wll call..we wll keep in touch ...





But like this...wll never again possible..he came till the gate and said ..bye..nothing came from myside..



nd he didnt wait to hear ....I saw him walking away from me...I dont know how long I stood there watching him going away from me....Someone inside me forced to run to him..I took few steps forward...I wished ..please once ..only once.. turn back and see me standing .............
But ....

Emotion

i dont kno how abt others..I found it difficult..the toughest among emotions is love..I found its difficult to express....especialy to guys....